Welcome back to the third annual WWBC Wrasslin' Battle Royal. I'm Ming and I'm Ying. Together we're the Twins. Looks like a larger crowd than last year Ying. Yea, 21 bruisers as opposed to the meager 13 last time. Now we're cookin'. Bluejeans Weintraub is giving the last minute instructions to the wrasslers. Do you think they can understand his instructions? Do you? Sure! They'll be just fine. Huh, are you picking on me again? Me? Noooooo. Oh, ok then.

Two rings have been constructed this year to hold this incredible number of combatants. True Ying, with Harpo, Jimbo, and of course our personal favorite, Big Mama in the same event there is not enough space in one ring to hold them all. Looks like they're starting.

In ring number 1 they seem to have a target. Is this Junta or Wrasslin'? What are you babbling about? Looks like the ceremonial shelling of the gamemaster. Huh? Oh, you made a funny. Yeah, pretty good one too, huh?

The Grandmaster isn't so masterful now is he? Nope, poor Blue Jeans always backs the wrong horse. Hey, look at the floor around ring number 2. Awful lot of bodies sprawled down there. No more left to chuck over there. The action is fast and furious in this ring too. Duck sis, here comes Jimbo! Thanks, that was close. I could have ruined my perm. Well, you don't think I'm going to carry your unconscious lard butt around for the next six hours did you? Who are you calling lard butt, pond scum!

We interrupt this broadcast for several minutes of bickering between the sisters about the size of their respective fannies. Just as Ming was about to make a telling point about her sister's derriere, she notices ...

Well, heavens - it looks like the preliminaries are over. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Let's see who is left. Introducing ... Brent "The Enforcer" Hurt, Big Mama, The Judge, Baby Face Harpo, the Whammer, the Serpent, the evil Grandmaster, Manly Mike Adams, Ali "the Rabbit" Mohammed and Hamie "The Blacksmith" Kneeshurt.

Isn't it great to know that Big Mama is in there to represent the girls this year? Sure is. Those guys won't know what hit them. Oh, my ... the Judge is passing judgement on Big Mama. That's no way to treat a lady! The rest of those punks are piling on. I guess they did know what was coming after all. Thanks for pointing that out. Back to the dance, nobody is lifting today. Kneeshirt is getting his knees hurt! Kick him when he's up, kick him when he's down, if he gets up, throw him to the ground! You're a little late for cheerleader squad, sis. Look, now they're going after Harpo. It better be "they". Gonna take more than one of 'em to lift that load. Ouch, little Mohammed finished the job. Good thing the Whammer helped him or he'd need a truss. Well, it's going to leave a mark in any case ... and we just finished cleaning that floor too.

Manly Mike is making a move on the Judge. He should have brought a bigger gavel. Looks like another gang up ... mob mentality reigns supreme. More like blood in the water during feeding time at Sea World if you ask me. the Whammer has his dandruff up now ... he's going after Brent Hurt. The Enforcer was ready for him, a quick reversal sends the brute crashing into the cheap seats. What a man! The others seem to think so too, he's getting gang banged from all directions. That didn't take long. Duh! What did you expect with four against one? Fair play ... Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee ... please stop ... I can't see through the tears.

The serpent is doing his snake dance over Brent. He better watch those two behind him ... too late. He flies real good. Takeoffs yeah, but the landings could use some work. Well, they've finished off Brett too. That leaves only three. The Grand Master and Ali are in cahoots. Manly Mike better watch out.

And now a word from our sponsor:

Doncon, where you can have six days of fun for just a few pesos. Join Don and company every year for the challenge to win wood. Winners earn braggin' rights for an entire year! Remember to tell all your friends and family to join us at Don CON XII - the Quest for Wood. And remember, Battle Royal offers every one an extra last chance at the wood every year. Remember, Doncon, where fun is our first, last and missdle name. Now back to the action.

What a shill. I don't need no stinkin' doncon for my braggin' rights. Yeah, like you've got a whole wall of plaques at home, sis. Hey, I don't notice no splinters on you from handling wood, unless you count the ones in your butt from all that pine sittin' you do. Well, I never ... That's right, you never did win anything to brag about.

Hmmpf. Ali gives Manly Mike a quick combination of blows. The Grand Master adds a wicked suplex and bounces Mike out of the ring. But his elation is short-lived. Ali is all over him .... there hasn't been a sneak attack like that since Pearl Harbor. I didn't think the body could bend like that. It can't. Look at him lying there all bent and broken just like the other losers. That's a little harsh for the runner-up isn't it? Excuse me, would it more politically correct if I referred to him as one of the non-winners?

There's the bell. Make way for Ali's manager, Bruce Monnin, as he climbs into the ring to congratulate his stud. Now sis, there you go again with the off color comments. Excuse me, Bruce applauds his "athlete". That's better. Great job, sis. Yeah, you too. See ya all next year. I'm Ming and I'm Ying. Ta ta for now. Err ... signing off, rather.