New grappler downs Killer Kibler
The 2002 Wrasslin' Single Elimination Tournament featured
a field of 51 fifty-one Wrasslers that is, managed by 17
managers, all aspiring to become the 2002 Undefeated WBC Wrasslin'
Champion! No matter that some of the fated 51 had a distinct
resemblance to each other. Indeed, looking back on the matter,
it appears as if there were six managers that had recruited a
wrassler whose best friend was a slithering serpent, and a further
half dozen fielding a flyer forenamed Phil. Another astounding
factoid is that there appeared an abundance of Amazonian attendees
to the affair, not to mention four wrasslin' mates yearning to
be grandmasters. Three managers aimed to manage a mono-eyed monstrosity,
and another three tried to best the field with a large Johnson
or an emasculated Mike. Despite their popularity in previous
tournaments of the same ilk, only two managers showed up with
ever-rebounding Champs or walloping Whammers. Finally, despite
her past popularity, no sullied sallies arrived to vie for the
crown, nor could one find a jumbo Jimbo.
The first round of grappling, in which past champion Tim Dolan
was awarded a "bye", narrowed the field of managers
to just less than half. In the next round Dan Dolan Jr (winner
in 1999) got a free pass to advance. Next, in the heated third
round, Tim Dolan bested Mike Bailey, Brian Kirchner's grapplers
succumbed to those fielded by Dan Dolan Jr, and Papa Dolan's
foul trio outgrappled those of gamemaster Charles Kibler. Thus,
the field of contestants was finally narrowed down to three
three Dolans, that is!
What's this?! Three Dolans enduring to contend for the gilded
buckle? Could this be? Well, yes, actually it could! And, since
the two "D" siblings had already received byes in earlier
rounds (how sweet it is, at times, to be a past champion of the
event), Daddy Dolan merited a free ticket into the final
thus setting up the semi final pitting his offspring against
Forget brotherly love, forget honor! When the WBC Wrasslin'
Championship buckle is at stake little else matters but ultimate
victory! The two young managers fought a fearsome fight. When
the dust had settled, the threesome managed by Tim (the Amazon,
Tyler Heartthrob, and Manly Mike) had succumbed to those of "Junior"
(another Amazonian beauty, another Tyler, and Big Ben)
thus setting up a championship match with dear ol' dad.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, what you've been waiting for:
the Main Event!
In the final, Papa D's Flying Phil was soon forced into "early
retirement" by Junior's Amazon, a lady blissfully blessed
with many holds and reverses. Daddy Dan's Grandmaster then took
up the call, and quickly beaned the scrappy lady with a foreign
object, forcing her to briefly exit the ring. Her hair fixed
and makeup reapplied, Dan Junior's hard fighting chick reentered
the ring, reversed a backbreaker, and polished it off with a
nasty elbow to the eye. Oh, those dirty women! Papa's Grandmaster
Enter the Champ
but wait! He's initially confused, and can't seem to find a grip
to grapple. Stunned by a foreign object, the Champ soon finds
himself locked in a knee-twisting Boston Crab. His muscles surging,
the first crab is cooked. But, lo! Another crab is applied
blocked again! More holds are held and locks closed. Bruised
and bleeding, the Champ slips out of the ring, and attempts to
impress the front-row spectators of his prowess. Soon, however,
he's back within the ropes to face off with the upstart Amazon.
In a flurry of punches and grapples, the two unlikely contenders
continue the wild mêlée. The amazing Amazon lands
a bevy of drop kicks. Reeling, the Champ finds himself locked
up with a Boston Crab again! The squeeze is on and on
and on. Finally, the Champ throws in the towel. Dan Junior, winner
of the 1999 WBC Wrasslin' title, has reclaimed the trophy!
Anybody care for some Boston Crab?