Last One Out of the Ring is a Winner
Welcome back to the fifth annual WBC Wrasslin' Battle Royal.
I'm Ming, and I'm Ying. Together we are the twins. Looks like
a good crowd this year, Ying. Yea. We got a new venue this year.
Don't say it! This room has great potential. great acoustics.
Blue Jeans Weintraub is giving the last minute instructions to
the wrasslers.
Three new rings have been constructed this year. Yes, as pointed
out earlier, we have new digs. Our wrasslers are looking around
to get used to the new sounds and feel of this place. They must
be expecting a really big crowd. This room is enormous. Well,
of course, they all want to see me!
With seven wrasslers in each ring we seem ready to begin thisd
three-ring circus. In ring number 1 Tyler Johnson, Ka-Pow, Mr
Brutal, Big Ben, Bret hurt, the Champ and Jimbo. Mr Brutal is
starting things off in big fashion. Big fashion? A little itty-bitty
knee lift to Ka-pow. Fine! Look Big Ben just got tossed by the
Champ. Wow ... what skill. Sure, you just want to be his manager
to get back into things you flatterer. He can't hear you anyway.
Oh, hush. Now the gang is beating Big Ben down. That's just ugly.
So is he.
Let's check out the center ring action. My, but they've been
active. Fout of them are lifting Harpo out of the ring. Careful,
honey, don't hurt yourself. We've got a date tonight. Oh my.
Warbucks didn't know when to let go and in an amazing play of
backstabbing, Blockbuster just gave an extra push and over the
top he goes to. I just love bad men.
Look over there. There are no slouches in ring 3 either. The
Serpent has constricted Tricky Dicky. Yeah, then boldly goes
after Ali with the other hand and tips him over. What a man.
Well, three is a charm. The Grand Master saw the next one coming
with a big cross-face blocking the Serpents attack. Jumbo lives.
He just grabbed the Grandmaster and gently tossed him into the
back row ... right in Bob Eucher's seats. Gently? Well, he landed
butt first, didn't he? Looks like another gang up job. The Judge
is in trouble. No - he sets the law breakers straight with a
reverse. he looks ready for more. meanwhile the Serpent is going
for his third kill of the day. I was right - the judge was ready.
He had another reverse and out goes the Snake. Well ... that
get's us to the finals ... we;ll be right back after this message
from our sponsor.
Doncon ... where else can you have six days of fun for the
price of four? Jopin Don and Co every year for the challenge
to win wood. Genuine, honest to goodness, imitation wood. As
a bonus, you get braggin' rights for one entire year. So join
us at Doncon XIV - the Search for Wood ... and don't forget that
the Battle Royal is your last chance at wood every year. So,
all you losers - remember who sent ya.
Welcome back. The nine finalists are entering the ring as
we speak. here comes Harpo with his trainer, the lovely Erika.
Next up is the Garbage man's twin brother backed up by none other
than our own boss Blue Jeans Weintraub. I can't believe he made
it this far. Me either. Somebody must have got paid off. Here
comes Samson with young Jordan Flawd. Awww ... he's so cute.
Which one? Both, silly! Next in is the Umpire accompanied by
John Poniske. Next up, Mr. Brutal, being groomed by Ray Stakenas
Sr. He need grooming after the Garbage Man is done with him.
Nah ... he has a new manager, Stephan Williams. No experience
in the big ring buys him an early exit. The Champ is accompanied
by Derek landel, Brent hurt by John ray, Jr, and Jamie Kneeshurt
with his longtime trainer, Mike Destro. A motley lookin' crew
if ever I saw one ...
Ring announcements are being made by Ray Stakenas Jr. What
happened to our boss. He's in the ring silly, He has to trun
the match over to the Ass't GM. That's never happened before.
Of course, not, he's never got this far before. Well, tell ray
Jr to keep his day job because he ain't gonna have this one long.
And there's the bell! Everyone is eyeing each other warily
waiting for someone to make the first move. A few half hearted
chops but nothing to get excited about. Uh oh, it looks like
Kneeshuirt is after brutal. Brutal saw it coming and with those
catlike reflexes he reverses Kneeshurt out of the ring. One down,
eight to go. This gives pause to the others, but Blue Jeans orders
the evil twin to attack. He's always so impatient. The evil Garbage
man attacks Brutal thinking he couldn't possibly have another
reverse. Bad career move. Move over, here he comes to hog the
microphone. Two down ...
The Enforcer is the third victim as Samson does him with an
incredible show of agility. The Champ is making his move. he
attacks Brutal with a wicked body slam and bounces his head off
the floor. Ow! Yeah, poor floor. The Umpire has taken out the
garbage. Five gone. And the Champ made the mistake of taking
on harp single handed. I guess he's the ex-champ now.
Three left. Umpire looks at harpo and thinks better of it.
Who wouldn't? Its Umpire who makes the first move. The fool is
attacking Sampson. How is he ever going to get Harpo out without
some help? Not his problem anymore. Samson made short work of
that guy. That leaves just Harpo and Sampson. Neither has the
wherewithal to do in the other just yet, and catcalls fill the
air as the spectators grow impatient with the discarding rest
being taken. Ah, Harpo has his second wind and he's taken it
to the smaller Samson. Ooh, that has gotta hurt. I can't bear
to watch. Open your eyes, sis, we have a new champion. Baby Face
Harpo has been led to victory by the only female trainer in the
field. Mybe that's why they didn't gang up on harpo and put him
out right from the start - he's uusally the first one to go since
nobody can lift him by themself.
Well, that wraps up another year here at WBC. We'd like to
thank our sponsor Multi-Man Publications who donated their last
six copies of Wrasslin' to our cause. We've presented each of
the runner-ups a new copy of the game to ease their pain. See
ya all next year.
|