slapshot [Updated October 2006]  

2006 WBC Report    

 2007 Status: pending 2007 GM commitment

Jeff Cornett, FL

2006 Champion

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Event History
1993    Andy Lewis        24
1994    Luke Kratz        39
1995    Peter Staab        74
1996    Leonard Omolecki        75
1997    Dan Metzger      106
1998    Dennis Nicholson      116
1999    Derek Landel     131
2000    Leonard Omolecki     133
2001    Kaarin Engelmann     108
2002    Richard Curtin     140
2003    Mark Guttag     141
2004    Devin Flawd     122
2005    Greg Berry     137
2006    Jeff Cornett     156

 Laurels

Rank  Name              From  Last  Total
  1.  Kaarin Engelmann   VA    03     48
  2.  Greg Berry         VA    06     39
  3.  Derek Landel       NJ    04     32
  4.  Jeff Cornett       FL    06     30
  5.  Doug Galullo       FL    06     30
  6.  Devin Flawd        PA    04     30
  7.  Mark Guttag        VA    03     30
  8.  Richard Curtin     NY    02     30
  9.  Leonard Omolecki   PA    00     30
 10.  Jerome Billones    VA    05     18
 11.  Rebecca Hebner     CO    04     18
 12.  Mike Stachowski    NY    02     18
 13.  Gordon Elgart      CA    01     18
 14.  Ken Keller         AZ    00     18
 15.  John Poniske Jr    PA    00     17
 16.  John Emery         SC    01     16
 17.  Legend Dan Hoffman MD    06     12
 18.  Steve Scott        CA    05     12
 19.  Tim Dolan          NJ    02     12
 20.  Andy Lewis         DE    00     12
 21.  Ben Goldstein      SC    99     12
 22.  Harald Henning     CT    05      9
 23.  Branden Bernard    PA    04      9
 24.  Ray Stakenas II    MI    03      9
 25.  Jason Levine       NY    02      9
 26.  Paul Saunders      VA    01      9
 27.  Adam Nolan         VA    06      6
 28.  Brian Mountford    CA    05      6
 29.  Mark Mitchell      GA    04      6
 30.  Josh Githens       SC    03      6
 31.  Dan Lawall         VA    02      6
 32.  John Ellsworth     IL    01      6
 33.  Harry Flawd        PA    00      6
 34.  Luke Koleszar      VA    99      6
 35.  Andy Gardner       VA    06      3
 36.  Dan Dolan Jr       NJ    05      3
 37.  John Kerr          VA    04      3

2006 Laurelists

Doug Galullo, FL
2nd

Legend Dan Hoffman. MD
3rd

Greg Berry, VA
4th

Adam Nolan, VA
5th

Andy Gardner, VA
6th


Past Winners

Andy Lewis, DE
1993

Luke Kratz, ID
1994

Peter Staab, PA
1995

Leonard Omolecki, PA
1996, 2000

Dan Metzger, PA
1997

Dennis Nicholson, NY
1998

Derek Landel, NJ
1999

Kaarin Engelmann, VA
2001

Rich Curtin, NY
2002

Mark Guttag, VA
2003

Devin Flawd, PA
2004

Greg Berry, VA
2005
   

 Josh Githens and his "Tiny Tim". Apparently, he didn't stop too many goals.

 Is this a meeting of the Hari Krishna's or the Greenville Mafia's Slapshot table.

 The "pious" table with Reverend Hunsinger, the voice of Slapshot, keeping it clean.

Join the Crowd ...

must be time for Slapshot. 2006 set the record for attendance in WBC's Hockey Arena as the ice follies hit triple figures for the tenth straight year. 19 tables packed full of players came out to bruise, get pucked, and try to avoid the penalty box. Rules-reader Keith Hunsinger, in a valiant attempt to get some order back in the event, added some new rules for whining this year. In addition to the traditional two minutes in the penalty box for the first offense, and being forced to eat breakfast with a grumpy Don Greenwood for a second offense, repeat whiners would be required to read the collected theological works of the Reverend Keith Hunsinger, attend a three-hour lecture on the modern symphony orchestra given by Arthur Field, and be placed with the loved one of your choice in between a free buffet table and a hungry Bruce Reiff. Some of these punishments sound worse than others, but certainly none are pleasant.

Sadly, the new rules against whining were not a deterrent this year, as a record number of participants were sent to the penalty box. First to go was Pete "I just won a plaque, so I'm better than you mere mortals" Stein. Next was David "only EuroWeenies whine" Dockter. I also have unconfirmed reports that board member Kaarin Engelmann was also penalized, which just proves that nobody's above the law when it comes to Slapshot. Unless you bribe the ref, of course. But never fear mere mortals ... there's always the "I got pucked" award won by Ken Samuels (at right) this year.

All of the excitement distracted the GM's table from doing its primary job, which is stopping Bruce Reiff from getting another plaque. Bruce managed to win his first round game, but the entire convention breathed a sigh of relief when he lost his semi-final match. Other memorable first round events included Ted Simmons scoring seven goals with Tiny Tim (including the winning goal in overtime), and Andy Gardner's "every game is a tie" table that must have set a record for ties and overtimes (if we kept records like that). My favorite first-round game description comes from Ray Stakenasll's table. When asked to describe unusual and noteworthy happenings in the game, he replied "other than normal? No". We're unsure whether "No" means that nothing outside the normal happened, or whether he's refusing to answer after taking the fifth amendment (perhaps thinking that what happens in Slapshot stays in Slapshot), but either way, we respect his answer.

The Ballroom grew quiet, well less raucous anyway, as the Massively Unfair semi-final round decided who was determined, awake, or lucky enough to make the Final table. When finally assembled, six sturdy gladiators placed their pawns on the board:

Andy "turning the screws" Gardner

Legend Dan "watch out for my watch" Hoffman

Jeff "Molson" Cornett

Greg "How did the defending champion make the Final again?" Berry

Doug "5 cent" Galullo

Adam "Bent cap" Nolan

In the early going, it was determined that Adam was the patsy of the table. Compared to previous years, Adam's team could've been a lot worse, and in fact, he pulled out several ties against his challengers. This led Legend Dan to say "I apologize for taunting you". Such moral victories are precious because they are all you get and mor than you can expect in Slapshot.

While strategic thinking is a rarity iat the witching hour, it isn't unheard of. Both Jeff and Andy made efforts to improve their teams with trades, nearly using the maximum number of trades allowed. This approach worked for Jeff, who quietly built an excellent team while still qualifying for the playoffs. Andy's team took too long to develop, and was left behind but had the consolatio of being the best team to fail to make the playoffs.

In the first playoff round, Doug advanced over Legend Dan on the strength of a Tiny Tim goal. In the other bracket, Jeff's carefully constructed team trounced Greg to end the defending champ's dreams of a repeat. Both victors brought bruisers to the Final, but Jeff's knocked out Doug's Superstar in the first round, leaving Doug with just one high-valued player. It was downhill from there for Jeff, who glided to his fourth championship of the week.

 Call the cops ... Lisa is mugging him again. !#*&! trades!

 I'll say one thing for the Host - they sure have sturdy chairs.

 Stein and Nicholson ... must be the whining table. Yep ... there's the ref.


 Slapshot Junior

24 little hockey players vied for ice glory this year. The winner was nine-year old, Jack Doughan.

 GM     Sean McCulloch [3rd year]  NA
   stmmccull@owu.edu  NA 

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