Join the Crowd ...
John Coussis reads the rules to open
Slapshot while Bruce tests the chairs.
Uh oh ... has Stein been whining again?
The 2007 tournament hosted a record number of players, filling
24 first round tables with enthusiastic hockey fans, and rocking
the ballroom with excitement. We missed Keith Hunsinger, the
voice of Slapshot, who had a prior commitment, and wasn't
available for the annual reading of the rules. We searched high
and low for the next loudest person we knew, and found John Coussis,
who filled in ably. Soon the sounds of happy goal-scorers, and
angry Tiny Tim-owners rang out across the room. The "no
whining" rule was enforced again this year, with at least
two competitors sent to the penalty box for whining by the always
alert referee Mark Yoshikawa.
Ten players squeezed in at the GM's table, each with their
own agenda. For some, it was to beat Bruce Reiff in something
this week. For others, it was to pound on Don Greenwood's team
for another consecutive year. Don started with a good team, and
then the "pack of jackals" descended upon him. Don's
goal was to win a single trade against Lisa Gutermuth who always
fleeces him. Sadly for Don, it took him 11 tries to win one.
On the other side of the table, Lisa's father Ken had a team
of four 1-rated players, a 4 and a 5, and still managed to score
a victory against Bruce's team and make the playoffs. When the
ice chips were finally zambonied away, Sean McCulloch, your erstwhile
GM, managed to stay below the radar and escape the shark tank,
to enter Round 2. Could I pull a Coussis and win my own event?
At other tables, being the designer of the game didn't help
Tom Dalgleish in a loss to Tom McCorry. Joe Yaure defeated his
father Christopher in an overtime game that went five cards deep.
Last year's champion Jeff Cornett won the pucked award at his
table, as Andy Gardner advanced. And the table that Jesse Boomer
won stated "We continue to have more fun than all other
tables will EVAR!! have. Combined." (Their spelling and
punctuation, not mine). Well, when you fit 13 people at a table,
I guess you can have more fun than the rest of us. For those
of you who were present at the event, that was the table in the
back corner that started the "Greeeeenwoood" chant
while we were waiting to start, so everyone could tell they were
having a lot of fun.
Eventually, the masses started heading off to bed, and we
settled down to the business of finding a 2007 champion, starting
with the annual Massively Unfair semi-final Round. At the GM's
table, Josh Githens drew the weak team with thre level 1 players,
a 2, a 3, and a 5 goalie, only to see his team get bruised into
four level 1 players, a 2, and a 0 goalie. The whole table spent
a lot of time winning games against his team, everyone except
for your GM, who learned the hard way that Tiny Tim gets scored
on by even a level 1 player. Repeatedly.
Six players survived the Round 2 carnage and brought their
pawns to the final:
Derik "Bottle Cap" Gallulo (What kind of bottle cap?
We ain't telling)
Ted "I was told to present proof of ID" Simmons
Tony "Gangster Handcuffs" Musella
Joe "I can't buy anything for a quarter" Yaure
Jerry "Anteing up with the car keys" Cantrill
Brittany "At least it's an unused stick of gum" Bernard
The first job at any Slapshot Final is to find the
patsy, and it wasn't long before Tony was a very busy man. He
went 25 straight games without winning once, and only managed
to squeak three ties out in that span. The bloodlust may have
gotten to some of the player's heads, because for two whole times
around the table Ted, Derik, and Jerry were all on the "8"
spot, and could virtually guarantee a playoff berth for all three
players if they would only play each other, but they still attacked
Tony, eventually ending his winless streak These late wins allowed
Tony to finish 5th overall ahead of Brittany, who spent a long
time trying to build a decent team through trades and drafts,
only to see time run out on her season before she could make
In the first semi-final match, Ted and Derik faced off against
each other. Ted came in with a strong team, but Derik's bruiser
meant that a in a long series, anything could happen. Indeed,
the first game saw Ted's 7-rated player sent to the sidelines.
In the second game, the bruisers from both teams took each other
out of play, enabling Ted's superior team to survive another
The other semi-final pitted Joe versus Jerry. Joe also tried
to bruise Jerry's team into submission, and did a lot of damage.
Jerry managed to hang on long enough for the victory, but it
proved phyrric as he limped into the Final match of the night..
The "future of Slapshot" paired off to decide possession
of third place wood - two young players taking the ice in what
was their first Final of what will surely be many. The after-effects
of Derik losing his bruiser and Joe retaining his was felt, as
Derik lost his Superstar in the first game, and Joe went on to
win the third-place plaque.
The Vegas oddsmakers were rating Ted's team a heavy favorite
over Jerry's injury-riddled squad. Ted's team consisted of three
6-rated players, a 5 and a 3, against Jerry's 6-5-4-3-2., giving
Ted a serious advantage. Jerry put up a valiant effort, but lost
to Ted in four straight games, making Ted Simmons our 2007 champion.
GM Mark Yoshikawa drops a puck
and runs for cover. Actually he dropped a lot of pucks - giving
every kid a souvenir hockey puck.
Asst. Monitor Michelle Goldstein refs for a group
of young hockey players.
31 little hockey players vied for ice glory this year. Four
games were played to whittle down the field to eight finalists.
It seemed that at each table, Tiny Tim was able to puck the goalie.
At least once in the four games played, Le Goon was kicked out
by bruising Tiny Tim.
Interestingly, it seems that the kids didn't whine as much
as the adults (maybe because they didn't need to worry about
the penalty box). After all of the prelim games were played,
the eight finalists didn't include any of the Lewis's, but did
include a Reiff. So the hope for someone to repeat as the winner
of wood was still alive!
But the game god's were not looking favorably on the younger
Reiff, Derik Galullo was able to outdo everyone and come away
with the wood. Having a balanced team that was able to
beat everyone that made a challenged against him. Derik
was easily able to move up the ladder. Coming in a close
second was Ben Gardner with Klye Galullo, Nathan Taylor, Nicole
Reiff, and Chrissy Mullet rounding out the field. Derik then
proved it was no accident by finishing third in regular Slapshot
over 177 adults!
It seemed that there wasn't any losers since all were able
to go away with something (as in a hockey puck!). And all had
fun in trying to see if they could get the "best" team!