blood amongst the kisses
Frank Sinigaglio points out that the
guy with the dice won last year. Didn't stop Josh from going
back to back with the ponies.
I swear these horses get more exotic
every year! Is it the last lap or did the velociraptors eat the
So that's what Jake does in
the off-season ... build gigantic colosseums.
Now that's a track. The giant
demolition derby heat sees midnight madness.
aspect of John Jacoby's Circus Maximus event is that he rewards
the first driver into each turn with a Hershey's Kiss. The candies
replace the dolphins which were upturned in the Roman Colosseum
to record the number of laps run.
The 2008 Final played host to no less than 15 chariots: eight
heavy, two medium and five light. Four chariots and as many horses
were destroyed in the driving exhibition which followed. Amazingly,
half of the destroyed chariots met their maker at the hands of
Marie Pack who was driving a light as they kissed the wall while
swerving from her whip. The end of the race proved that the dice
gods hate any sign of hubris. On the last straightaway, defending
champion Josh Githens carefuly counted and found that when his
chit was pulled, he would just cross the finish line. He announced
that he was not going to whip his horses since he had the race
won without further effort. The dice god's ears pricked up at
this audacity, It was then pointed out that by moving at a speed
of 18, he had to roll his wheel damage. When the 3 damage wheel
was checked, he rolled a 2, his chariot flipped, and dragged
him 17 spaces forward. His speed had been reduced by one since
a driver's modifier does not apply to a dragged driver. This
left his hotses over the line, but poor Josh - the vicarious
driver - remained prostate in the field of play.
Angela Collinson took this as a sign and killed a purple cow
on Kathleen Lockwood's team, and then proceeded to trample the
dragged side of beef that appeared before the finish line. When
Josh had finally cleared the hooves, Josh had only two hits left
from his original manly nine driver points. But now he had to
be dragged some more to cross the finish line and he had to survive!
When his chit was drawn he was dragged far across the line in
first, but would he survive? A roll of 3 or more would kill the
lad and deprive him of his posthumous victory. Apparently, the
dice gods decided they'd had enough fun with Josh and having
extracted enough blood and sweat out of his carcass, let him
roll a 2 to survive to claim his second title. A wiser and humbler
champion stumbled to his feet to reclaim his crown.
As the only returning laurelist, he improved on a 2nd place
finish in 2005 that found him tied in distance over the finish
line but lost by being drawn after the winner. Last year, he
had to survive a final attack while straddling the finish line.
The Colosseum will keep the four-heat format in 2009 with
a special demolition derby heat played on a single double- or
triple-sized track. However, the starting time will be moved
up from this year's 11 PM start to keep our charioteers awake.
Thumbs Up? I thought the gladiatorial
games were next week.
Final: Josh wins again?!?
Three GMs -- no waiting! Dave
Gantt, Bill Beckman and Tamara Houde all qualify for sainthood
in the Juniors room.
Admit it Frank ... you just volunteer
so you can swipe the candy because your kids hide their halloween
Circus Maximus Junior
16 little charioteers reported to the Juniors Colosseum which
was ably manned by volunteers from the Greenville Mafia who earned
their stables the hard way. The swiftest kid proved to be Lissa
Rennert on Track 1 who was followed by Adam Wojtaszczyk and Sophie
Harrison. Over on Track 2, Brian Pappas led the carnage followed
by Claire Pfeiffer and Mirth Pack.