Squawk ... Women Pirates! ... what's
this world coming to?
Beware all ye who dare enter these
There's treasure to be had for Cap'n
Cap'n Larry here. Once again rum flowed and blood pooled around
the 'cove. we had 43 of you scurvy scalawags and 14 voluptuous
venomous vixens on board. I use that alliteration because those
gals blasted the pants off you scoundrels. Each of the lasses
averaged over six player-sinks as opposed to you landlubbers
barely sinking four each.
In Heat 1 we had six games yielding wins for: Paul Bissa,
Bert Schoose, Henry Pfeiffer, Bob Jamelli, Delvario Clinkscales,
and Dan Mathias.
Game 1: Alyssa Gumbowski did not win, but sank as many as all
three of the other knaves combined!
Game 2: Bert won while only sinking one pirate ... cowardly scum.
Game 3: Henry won with four sinks, while the Haney lass came
in last with the same number.
Game 4: Bob got by Nico Paruda sinking five to Bob's four.
Game 5: Delvario edged Greg-Beard 50-45
Game 6: Dandy Dan sent six to Davey Jones' locker with nobody
coming within 10 points.
The Heat 2 winners were Emma Hauser, Chris Daly, Beth Zhao,
Rob Drozd, Ron Glass, Claire Pfeiffer and Linda Pattison. The
women put them to shame.
Game 7: Emma sank as many as all her dainty adversaries combined.
Game 8: Chris pulled the hat trick and sank equal to his opponents.
Game 9: Beth did not sink many, but used her wiles to slip by
the others by a mere three points.
Game 10: Rob bribed his way to a 1-point win over Zack Terry
who was set adrift for his trouble.
Game 11: Ron proved the top dog in a pack of four within four
Game 12: Claire joined her brother as the Pfeiffers ruled the
seas - sending six below the waves.
Game 13: Linda continued the Amazon reign of terror, sinking
five, to win by ten points.
The Heat 3 winners were Jim Bell, Tom Pavy, Jeff Pattison,
Jason Long, Ashley Collinson and Dan Mathias again. At last a
sailor with some iron.
Game 14: Jim cruised with four sinks and five points more
than Jim Dougherty who walked the plank.
Game 15: Old salt and defending champ Tom Pavy squeezed past
Brad Sherwood by two points.
Game 16: Jeff won by three points over a pair of wenches, Beth
Zhao and Alyssa Gumbowski.
Game 17: Jason won the battle of the Jason's by five points and
marooned his namesake Fisher.
Game 18: Ashley won easily with six sinks over Verity Hitchings
as the men suffered yet another indignity.
Game 19: Dandy Dan at last showed some gumption among the men
by winning again over the queen of the plank - Bobbi Warczak
Round 2 pit the winners against one another in the semi-finals.
The wenches again held their own, sending two to the Final reckoning.
Semi 1: Henry slid into the win column by a lousy point
over Linda Pattison and two over Emma Hauser. He would be the
only 2008 finalist to return in 2009.
Semi 2: Beth bewitched the opposition and sank as many
as all three guys combined; ending not only Tom Pavy's defense
of his title but also his previously unblemished record of winning
laurels every year.
Semi 3: Barrett Straub made the most of his second chance,
advancing as an alternate to win easily by ten points.
Semi 4: Ashley breezed by the other wenches Verity and
Claire to advance. Paul Bissa was smitten early and did not stand
a chance as they ate him alive.
Semi 5: Jim Bell won by 18 points, not even close
The Final was hotly contested - between the wenches. Beth-ster
[just ducky] Zhao gave it her all, but Ashley Collinson was not
to be denied. The brotherhood lagged far behind with the two
lasses outscoring the three guys combined! Tis a sad day for
men on the high seas.
The crew seems to be well equipped
with eye patches.
The wenches outdid you scurvey devils